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Ever feel like your pimpin’ ain’t clean? The ladies aren’t feeling your style? Even the best of us get in a slump sometimes, but no worries, Chicago’s GLC recently released his newest mixtape, The Anti Simp, full of lame-correcting game. His latest effort gives simps a lesson in how to get ahead, but what is an “anti simp”?
“The anti simp is the opposite of this emotional male who is doing all these unmanly activities and unreal stand-up-guy type activities,” GLC explains.
If you or someone you know falls under the category of “simp,” GLC is here to help. Check out his 10 Tips for Simps and get your life together.
Tip 10: Let The Women Choose
GLC: “Do not force your macking upon her. Do not be like, ‘Hey baby, you need to fuck with me cause I’m this' or, 'Aw baby I’m trying to be your boyfriend.’ At the end of the day, a women knows if she wants to fuck you or not. If she wants to manifest from the top, she knows. She gonna look at you, she gonna look at your shoes, she gonna look at your motherfuckin' watch and she gonna be like, ‘Okay, there’s a chance that I may go. I think I want to manifest with this playa or I don’t.’ Now from this point here, the shit that you say can either advance it and take it to a whole 'nother level and you might be manifesting within an hour or that same night or it can fuck up your whole chance by saying the wrong dumbass shit.
"Be careful with your choice of words and be observant of your environment and know how to approach a situation. Everybody ain’t the same and you have to learn how to adapt. You can’t complain about situations, all you can do is adapt to them and some guys choose to adapt the wrong way. Like I said, they do that domestic violence thing and that shit is not church. The other thing is they pimp ‘em 'cause, shit, if she wanna go, put her on the stroll and tell her to bring something to help. Sell your soul shit.”
Tip 9: Mack Like You’ve Got Some Sense
GLC: “You may have heard your mom say, ‘Boy act like you’ve got some sense.’ Mack like you’ve got some motherfuckin’ sense! It’s okay to mack educated women or women that look like they on they business or got shit going on and things of that nature, but it’s all in the approach. You can’t go up to no woman that look like she got some sense about herself with a nice aura and a nice demeanor talking like a fuckin’ idiot cause she gonna look at you like a fuckin’ idiot and she gonna break yo ass like a fuckin’ idiot.
"At the end of the day, she sees the opportunity in a simp. Women aren’t crazy. She gonna capitalize off it. ‘Aw, this motherfucker is really dumb. Well shit, this motherfucker is gonna take me shopping and all I gotta do is smile and be on his arms and look nice and probably give him a little pussy here and there but I’m finna capitalize.’ You know what I’m saying?”
Tip 8: Stop Embracing Other Simps
GLC: “A lot of simpin’ takes place because there was no manly figure in the household. There was no father, there was no uncle, there was no big cousin or big brother that had any type of Ism about they self, so you get caught up in the simpin’ atmosphere.
"A lot of times, watching certain motherfuckers on TV or listening to certain music, it will have you embrace the simp lifestyle if you follow these rules. You have to learn how to differentiate what is really cool and what is perceived as being cool. You’ve got to know the difference because if you sitting around here looking, acting and dressing like every other motherfucker, what is it about you that’s going to make you stand out? You’ve got to have some sort of individuality about yourself and stop following suit.”
Tip 7: Thou Shall Not Have Bad Breath
GLC: “Bad breath is not church. When you sitting up trying to converse with a young lady, that’s kind of threatening, man. Before you approach any woman make sure that your breath situation is on point because she will fine you for that shit.
"Now that you came up to her with this bad breath, but she see that you got that card on display or your re-up money on display, she gonna make you pay. Now you got to buy drinks for her, her girls and everyone else for the whole night and if you want to see her again it depends on how fucked up her money situation is. If it’s bad, she’s gonna tolerate that bad breath, but there’s gonna be a bad breath tax for yo' ass.”
Tip 6: Do Not Lose A Woman That You Love For A Hoe That You Love To Fuck
GLC: “Just like you love to fuck her, a lot of other motherfuckers is fucking her, too. You’ve got to realize that this is fun. This is a nice activity. You're having a good time but don’t fuck up your household just for some pussy in its prime.”
Tip 5: Thirsty Hoes Usually Seek Financial Hydration
GLC: “If she's so down for you and is there for your every calling and every need, she's thirsty. Some women do not understand that when you have sex, that’s kind of like an even exchange, as long as both of y'all come. See, women, they smart because they know that their vagina distribution is big business, but a simp can’t even recognize that shit. He thinking like, ‘Ah man, she so down for me. Ah, she love me.’ But there’s going to come a price tag for these services that she’s providing and by the time yo' ass going bankrupt and you in the negative, you ain’t gonna recognize all the shit that you done did. She gon' come at you saying she need a new city sticker or my phone finna get cut off.
"Now these lames and these simps get mad and want to go upside her head, but if you embrace the concept of her lying in that bed, she could fuck around and bring home some bread. You wanna go upside her head, but you knew she was a hoe and you got too hung up in this simp atmosphere that you can’t recognize hoeing.
"This is your lady, and again, it is not a simp activity to take care of your woman if that’s your woman, but for these hoes that’s out here reckless, that’s these goddamn nation pieces, nah. Matter fact, you know what I wanna tell the people? I wanna say, once she gives the pussy away, realize and accept the fact that she is no longer yours. She is ours. She is everybody’s chick. Once she opened up those legs outside of the household, shit ain’t the same no more 'cause that was the time you caught her, but there’s no telling how many times you didn’t catch her.
"Now you mad 'cause you see another mutherfucka talking to her. Pimp, fall the fuck back and respect your position as a hoe-hoarder and let her go out into the world and continue to hoe."
Tip 4: Thou Shall Not Pillow Talk
GLC: “These marks be sitting up, laying in the bed with they bitch, talking about what they friends got going on and what they friends said because of the fact that they so scared. Like, if you think your bitch cheating on you, be a man about this shit. Man up! Don’t be in the bed talking ‘bout, “Well, GLC said you was probably fucking Teap or you was a hoe,” 'cause now, there's a point where GLC has to be around you and your girl.
"Now she’s feeling extremely uncomfortable and you got me feeling fucked up because of your pillow talking endeavors. And with all of this pillow talking, talking ‘bout what GLC said, now there’s probably a good chance that she want to fuck GLC 'cause you laying in your bed talking about me!”
Tip 3: Thou Shall Have No Anger At A Woman Who Wants Something When That Was The Reason You Got Her In The First Place
GLC: “If you accumulate a woman by taking her out, buying her nice things, taking her on trips and shit, understand it’s at your own leisure just because you pretty much a simp, 'cause you really ain’t got no pimpin’ bout yourself, and no Ism about yourself.
"Not to say there’s anything wrong with doing that, because that’s part of dating and being a gentlemen or a man, but that should be for your special girl. That should be for someone that means something to you. If this is how you accumulated these women, don’t be mad at them and call them hoes and bitches and sluts when they ask you for something, 'cause that’s how you got her in the first place.”
Tip 2: Thou Shall Not Dirty Mack
GLC: “Dirty macking is when your macking ain’t clean. You try to get this pimpin’ game and this macking game and this Ism game fair and square, and you try your best, but you run into these simpin’ altercations here and there and what these simps do is they be like, ‘Hey, why you fucking with GLC. He got all the hoes. He ain’t no good for you girl.’ He be saying that to all the girls and shit like that.
"That’s dirty macking. A woman shouldn’t want you for who another motherfucker ain’t. They should want you for who you are. You sitting up there talking all this shit and you may have revoked her interest 'cause now, she sitting up there like, “Damn, how is he fucking all these girls? He must be fucking the shit out of them.” Now she wants in 'cause your ass was dirty macking.”
Tip 1: Thou Shall Not Cuff A Bustdown
GLC: “A bustdown is a motherfucker that everyone done hit, sort of like a nation piece. A nation piece is a chick that must have ran through the nation. If you’re horny, this is who you call. You call this woman that’s going to provide this sexual pleasure or whatever it is you seek.
"An anti simp is never going to try to cuff her. Cuffing her is saying, ‘Yo, this is my girlfriend. Can you stop fucking her, please? Now she’s different. She’s changed because of this simpin’ that I’m displaying.' The anti simp is not going to do that and thou shall not cuff a buss down.”