Image via Complex Original
As most sensible people know and will tell you, Mariah Carey is a natural treasure (and the star of Complex's August/September 2016 issue). This is a fact for numerous reasons. For starters, she is one of the most impressive vocalists of not only her generation, but all time. She is an accomplished songwriter—a point she will make again and again, and if you’re tired of her talking about this fact, you will deal. Of all the things to love about Mariah, though, her persona is paramount. There is literally no entertainer like Mariah Carey. Her antics and demeanor have been categorized in various ways, but the most popular is diva.
Diva means many things to people, but trust, in this space, it means nothing short of behavior worthy of celebration. As she’s said herself in the past, she lives in her own world. And what an absolutely spectacular world it is.
Enjoy, dahling.
The Same Dress
When: Sept. 1998
No shade, but this moment between Mariah and Whitney Houston is better than the song they were promoting at the time. It’s truly sad we lost Whitney so early. The world deserved a sitcom and/or reality show centered on Mariah and Whitney just sitting down and talking about people.
An Appropriate Entrance
When: Dec. 1999
In 1999, Billboard named Mariah Carey its artist of the decade. Because it was such a festive moment, Mariah accepted her award as only she would—by canvassing the crowd of adoring fans who made her a fortune. It’s basically her version of Simba from The Lion King after he defeated Scar and became the rightful king.
The Best Episode of 'Cribs' Ever
When: 2002
Where do I begin on trying to explain such a pivotal moment in modern history? During MTV's tour of Mariah's luxurious and extremely spacious penthouse in New York City, she treats viewers to sights like working out on a treadmill while wearing stilettos; watching her assistant change her ensemble while she gives a tour of the crib; not showing parts of her Tribeca penthouse that she felt were too good for the eyes of the general public; jumping into a bathtub she likely never uses while the cameras are rolling.
"I Don't Know Her"
When: Early 2000s
Mariah is responsible for one of the most popular Internet memes ever, thanks to a random interview with a European TV outlet. It all started well over a decade ago when Mimi was asked about Beyoncé, whom received a glowing review from the legendary singer-songwriter. And then the correspondent asked about Jennifer Lopez, who Maria—well, you know.
This Is What Drunk Looks Like
When: January 2010
By the time Mariah accepted her award for her role in Precious at the Palm Springs International Film Festival, she was clearly intoxicated. Mariah drunk is everything you already love about Mariah squared and with a slur. During this moment, she explained how she came to discover the book the movie was based on, how she connected to the material, and how she became part of the cast. Again, while drunk. Please take me to happy hour, Mimi.
In Search of the Right Angles
When: January 2013
Mariah Carey truly cares about her angles. Those of us who are bae but sometimes struggle with properly capturing that baeness on camera understand the situation. And so, while Mariah is promoting American Idol, she very visibly becomes consumed with trying to figure out her BEST angle for the camera. Literally nothing else matters until that is nailed down. Who’s mad?
When Friends Visit
When: Dec. 2013
Technically, this is Mariah Carey inviting my favorite wine-drinking talk-show hosts, Kathie Lee and Hoda, over to her house for a holiday moment. But watching it, nothing is that clear. For one, Mariah is dressed like she’s heading to receive a lifetime achievement award from Jesus. Two, Santa Claus. Three, Kathie Lee Gifford wipes down Mariah’s breasts to avoid some kind of stain situation. Mimi also begins singing. But she also remembers to thoughtfully ask if anyone is lactose intolerant before serving drinks.
You Can't Trust Just Anyone to Do Your Lighting
When: Feb. 2014
When Mariah agreed to do an interview with Power 105.1’s The Breakfast Club, she did not agree to their studio’s unfavorable lighting system. So, she had her people come in and make the room’s lightning more favorable to all, but especially more favorable to Mariah. Legend has it that Mimi will have people come into office spaces she’s set to meet in beforehand to fix the lightning. Why? Because she’s Mariah fucking Carey and she can do whatever she wants. She will not wait for Snapchat filters because she is a walking Snapchat filter.
A Diva Never Walks
When: Feb. 2016
I don’t know about you, but sometimes walking feels like an oppressive task that no decent human being deserves.
Schooling the Paparazzi
When: May 2016
One can’t tell if Mariah was high off Pinot grigio or simply high off her own natural supply, but when she met up with members of the paparazzi, she quickly took command of the moment. First, she told one cameraman to “delete that shit and give me something new.” And when asked who would be qualified to perform at her looming nuptials to fiancé Australian billionaire James Packer, she answered, “Fucking nobody.” She meant that.
Accepting the Ally Award at the GLAAD Awards
When: May 2016
How does Mariah accept an award at an LGBTQ organization’s award show? She puts her songwriting skills to work and come up with a remix to the LGBTQ acronym. She also mentions how her son talks about boobies and butts. Still unclear how that applies, but it works for her.
Still Unaware of Her
When: May 2016
When asked about her reported rift with Mariah Carey during an interview with Wendy Williams, Jennifer Lopez said that perhaps Mariah is “forgetful,” given that they’ve met before. However, when asked about that interview and the infamous “I don’t know her” line on Watch What Happens Live, Mariah added some context...
Mariah *Really* Doesn’t Know Her
When: July 2016
Now that it’s clear that Mariah doesn’t know J. Lo, she’s having fun with it. Here, she poses with a fan who repeats the line, thus extending the shade that’s been hanging around for more than 10 years now. Note that Mariah Carey has never publicly said Jennifer Lopez’s name. Not a single time. If that ain’t a diva, I don’t know what is.
A Lifetime of Shade
When: Her entire life
Mariah is by far one of the shadiest recording artists, period. That is a compliment, naturally. One fine human being took the time to package all of her famous reads from the past two decades. One of my personal favorite shady Mimi moments is her read of Madonna.