Image via Complex Original
Yes, well, Kanye West backed up his "go and grab the reporters/so I can smash their recorders" line from "New Slaves" last week at LAX. Reportedly, he could face charges for attempted robbery after trying to grab the camera from the overzealous paparazzo he ended up wrestling to the ground. It was sad, revealing poetry when, after the struggle, the cameraman ran away and tried to hide his face from other paparazzi.
We here at Complex enjoy celebrity culture. And we support aggressive reporting. That said, we'll note, without being the first to do so, that today's TMZ-style paparazzi are disgusting parasite barnacle-humans, and we wonder what kind of crazy conscience-erasing drugs they need to take in order to sleep at night. We also wonder whether they're on these same kinds of drugs when they approach their quarry, and struggle to come up with the exact perfect question to ask in order to turn a head or elicit a response.
Because, Jesus, are they stupid! How stupid? This stupid: The Stupidest Things Paparazzi Have Asked Kanye West. Check it out. You'll want to tell them to never talk ever again, too, not even to themselves.
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"Kanye, you face one of the most agonizing decisions all day long and that's what to order at The Cheesecake Factory. There's about 4000 items on that menu, how did you come up with the decision? Was it meat or fish? Pasta?"
Date: 2006
Kanye's Response: "The way I came up with that decision was, I was kind of hungry and I just was thinking I wanted some chicken because I'm black so you know I like chicken a lot. I wanna do commercial for chicken. For free. You don't have to pay me."
"So, how was breakfast Kanye?"
Date: 2007
Kanye's Response: Walks away.
"Hey Kanye! What are you doing attacking photographers, man?"
Date: 2008
Kanye's Response: Keeps driving.
"What's your opinion on OJ getting nine years?"
Date: 2008
Kanye's Response: "I'm not here to do interviews."
"Kanye there were no nude pictures of you on the internet?...Kanye, so what about those pictures?"
Date: 2010
Kanye's Response: Keeps walking.
"If you could sin with somebody, who would it be?"
Date: 2009
Kanye's Response: "I just said I'm not answering no questions."
"What do you think of Chris Brown and Rihanna?...Hey Kanye, why don't you get out and get aggressive?"
Date: 2009
Kanye's Response: Looks bored. Revs engine. Drives away.
"What you think about Etta James trying to beat up Beyonce or something?"
Date: 2009
Kanye's Response: "Y'all always ask me, like, stupid questions."
"We wanna stay on your good graces but I gotta know your opinion on South Park?"
Date: 2009
Kanye's Response: Gets in his car.
"Are you a gay fish?"
Date: 2009
Kanye's Response: Holds Amber Rose's dress. Gets in his car. Drives away.
"Kanye did you get refused entry to a fashion show? Or is that BS?"
Date: 2011
Kanye's Response: Keeps walking.
"What about all your model girlfriends, man? Are you the new playboy of the western world?"
Date: 2011
Kanye's Response: Keeps walking.
"Hear any wedding bells lately?...I want to be a Mason like you!"
Date: 2012
Kanye's Response: "Don't ask questions."
"Kim, did you know Reggie is here having dinner? Did you want to go congratulate him on his pregnancy?"
Date: 2012
Kanye's Response: Grabs the camera.
"Everything cool? Hey sorry about the paparazzi giving you a hard time yesterday, Kanye."
Date: 2013
Kanye's Response: Gets in his car.