Image via Complex Original
Talking is hard. Circumstances can sometimes negatively dictate the sentences that come dribbling out of our mouths, and in a lifetime that will be made up of millions upon millions of words, human beings are guaranteed to have multiple instances of nonsensical nomenclature somewhere along the way. Maybe you’re giving a speech in front of a hundred people and your nerves overcome your ability to speak coherently. Maybe your brain momentarily malfunctions and you combine two words instead of picking one of them. You know what’s happening, but you can’t stop it. And you can’t prevent the looks of bewilderment that are staring back at you.
For rappers, these experiences are doubly so. Their lives consist of speaking rhythmically, recording it and releasing it to the masses to be played over and over again. Much like a deleted tweet that’s screenshotted and preserved forever, what a rapper says on wax lives on in infamy. So if they happen to say something that doesn’t make a lick of sense, well, it’s preserved inside of Spotify and Apple Music indefinitely
Turns out, rappers say things that make you go “uh, what?” all the time. You could make an entire list of them just by diving into Lil Wayne’s discography (“Met a female dragon/Had a fire conversation”? C’mon, fam). But to single out Weezy wouldn’t be fair, because there are prominent rappers everywhere saying things that need a fact check. Whether it’s misusing a metaphor, taking a swing and a miss at an analogy or saying something that’s just factually incorrect, a lot of rappers need a copy editor in the studio with them before they send a record off to the adoring public. From 2 Chainz to Drake, to Tyga to Jaden Smith, here are 50 Rap Lyrics That Make No Sense, in an order as nonsensical as the verses you’ll find below.
“She said ‘Do you love me?’ I tell her only partly/I only love my bed and my momma I’m sorry.” - Drake
Song: “God’s Plan” (2018)
Album: Scary Hours
If you only love your bed and your mother, Aubrey, how could you tell this young lady that you love her “partly”? That would indicate that you do love her, even if it’s only around 50 percent. Someone is lying.
“Good pipe make a girl to a good wife/Good morning wood, I just need a termite.” - Wale
Song: “Passive Aggres-Her” (2011)
Album: The Eleven One Eleven Theory
Uh, does Wale know what termites do to wood? Does he want that to happen to him?
“Oww/Hoes turn their heads like owls/I’m the man of the hour/Triple entendre don’t even ask me how.” - Jay Z
Song: “Light Up” (2010)
Album: Thank Me Later
Jay Z caught a ton of flack for this line he dropped on Drake’s “Light Up,” and rightfully so. Not only is this line not a triple entendre (in fact, we’re not sure Jay even knows what a triple entendre is), it’s not even a double entendre! It’s a good thing no one asked Jay Z how he did this, because he’d have no answer for them.
“Rolls Royce got me feeling like King Tut/Got my codeine cups, ‘bout to drink up.” - Juicy J
Song: “One Of Those Nights” (2013)
Album: Stay Trippy
We were unaware that King Tut used to ride around in a Rolls Royce. Gotta amend those history books, pronto
“I just bought a crib, three stories, that bitch a trilogy.” - Big Sean
Song: “I Don’t Fuck With You” (2015)
Album: Dark Sky Paradise
Look, we get what Big Sean was trying to do here. But we’re not certain Sean knows the the definition of a trilogy, and it is certainly not a house three stories tall. You can’t just substitute “trilogy” when you’re referencing three of something, Sean.
“And my dick so hard it make the metal detector go off.” - 2 Chainz
Song: “All Me” (2013)
Album: Nothing Was The Same
So your member is made of metal, 2 Chainz? That feels like a separate issue you should get looked at.
“Double R, that’s a Rolls, paint it yellow like it’s dairy.” - Young Thug
Song: “Sacrifices” (2017)
Album: More Life
Ok, yes, one dairy product, cheese, is mostly thought of as yellow. But it’s not painted that way (what kind of cheese are you eating, Thugger?). The last thing I think of when I see something yellow, especially a car, is “ah yes, it looks like a dairy product.”
“And she just bleached her a**hole/And I get bleach on my t-shirt/I’ma feel like an a**hole.” - Kanye West
Song: “Father Stretch My Hands Pt. 1” (2016)
Album: The Life of Pablo
Not only is this one of the more cringeworthy lines Kanye West has ever uttered, but it also doesn’t make any sense. Sometimes trying too hard to make a play on words can go horribly wrong.
“I need you to listen to the vision/All your verses sound like dirty dishes.” - Jaden Smith
Song: “Icon” (2017)
Album: SYRE
Do dirty dishes sound different than clean dishes? And what is that sound? Just a bunch of clinking? I don’t know, Jaden. Maybe workshop this one a little further.
“Girl you’re hot and cold/That makes you warm.” - Tyga
Song: “Temperature” (2018)
Album: Kyoto
Simply putting the ambiguous adjectives “hot” and “cold” together does not make someone “warm,” Tyga. What if the “cold” he’s referring to was, like, -50 degrees? Then what? We need specific temperatures!
"Rock star, flier than an ostrich." - Juelz Santana
Song: "Black Republicans" (2007)
Album: Da Drought 3
Um, ostriches can't fly.
"We from two different cities, Minnesota and Philly." - Freeway
Song: "Best @ It" (2009)
Album: Us
Dude, Minnesota is not a city. It's a state.
"Weezy F. Baby and the 'F' is for phenomenal." - Lil Wayne
Song: "Yes" (2009)
Album: N/A
It's PHenomenal, not fenomenal, Weezy.
"I say what's next, what's next, what's N-X-E-T." - Warren G
Song: "What's Next" (1994)
Album: Regulate...G Funk Era
SMDH. We gotta do better.
"First family will gradually lift that a** up like gravity." - Lil Fame
Song: "1/2 & 1/2" (1998)
Album: Blade (Soundtrack)
Gravity doesn't lift people up. It does the exact opposite.
".38 revolve like the sun round the Earth." - Jay Z
Song: "It's Hot" (1999)
Album: Vol. 3... Life and Times of S. Carter
If you're one of the 33% of Americans who believe that the Earth does not revolve around the sun, then you probably love this line.
"Moving in a Grand Prix, same color as thunder." - OJ da Juiceman
Song: "I'm Getting Money" (2009)
Album: The Otha Side of the Trap
We're sure what OJ da Juiceman meant to say was that it was the same color as lightning, since thunder is in fact a sound caused by lightning.
"When I was a geisha, he was a samurai/Somehow I understood him when he spoke Thai." - Nicki Minaj
Song: "Your Love" (2010)
Album: Pink Friday
That “somehow” may be Nicki herself admitting the line doesn’t make any sense. Considering both geishas and samurais are Japanese it would be pretty strange for him to be speaking Thai, and for her to understand it. Somehow I think Nicki got stuck rhyming “samurai”, could only think of “Thai” and figured, “It doesn’t make sense but screw it. It’s not like some blogger’s going to devote an entire post to how lazy this rhyme is."
"Always been about them horizontal lines through them 'S's/That's a dollar sign." - Chamillionaire
Song: "Still Tippin (Original Version)" (2004)
Album: The Day After Hell Broke Loose
Actually Chamillionaire, that wouldn't look anything like $. It would look like this, S. Clearly, you didn't learn the difference between horizontal and vertical at the Pokemon Training Academy.
"If you don't bring back my motherf**kin money or my motherf**kin dope, you can forget about Christmas ni**a, cause you ain't gon even see New Years." - Master P
Song: "Do You Know" (1998)
Album: There's One In Every Family
Can someone please buy Master P a golden calendar so he see that Christmas comes before New Years Eve?
"I like them black, white, Puerto Rican, or Haitian/Like Japanese, Chinese, or even Asian." - Chingy
Song: "Balla Baby" (2004)
Album: Powerballin
Because Japanese and Chinese people totally aren't Asian or anything.
"I drink Hennessy straight, with tomato juice." - N.O.R.E.
Song: "Banned From TV" (1998)
Album: N.O.R.E
If you're mixing alcohol and juice, you're not drinking it straight.
"I woke up out that coma 2001, bout the same time Dre dropped 2001." - The Game
Song: "Dreams" (2005)
Album: The Documentary
Either that was a two-year coma, the bullets really messed up his sense of time, or Game’s using “bout” in the loosest sense possible, because Dre’s 2001 came out in 1999.
"I scored 1.1 on my SATs, but I still push a whip with a right and left AC." - Redman
Song: "Blackout" (1999)
Album: Blackout!
Okay, first of all, you couldn't possibly score a 1.1 on your SATs no matter how smoked out your brain was. Mainly because the SATs aren't scored that way. Second, having a whip with a right and left AC isn't exactly an accomplishment. And finally, since when do they sell cars with an AC only on one side anyway?
"Don't get drowned in one of the Mediterraneans ni**a." - Raekwon
Song: "Pushing Keys" (2011)
Album: None (Promo)
You know how hardcore Raekwon is? He’s so hardcore he’ll dump your body in that other, entirely new Mediterranean sea.
"Put a number on your helmet like it's Notre Dame." - Rick Ross
Song: "High Definition" (2012)
Album: Rich Forever
Sorry, bro. The three leaf clover isn't a part of the number system.
"Black on black Bentley, call it Phantom of the Opera." - Young Jeezy
Song: "Top Back" Remix (2006)
Album: N/A
Nah, we'd prefer to call it an all black Bentley. Especially because, you know, Rolls Royce makes the Phantom and it's an entirely different car.
"America's pie, put my hand in the pot." - Tyga
Song: "Careless World" (2012)
Album: Careless World: Rise of the Last King
Who bakes pies in a pot?
"200 carats, now that's a f**king charm/That's a lucky charm/And I don't mean Corn Flakes." - Young Jeezy
Song: "I Do This Shit" (2007)
Album: Def Jam: Icon (Soundtrack)
Hold on, let's double check this. Nope, absolutely no one thought you might have been talking about Corn Flakes. It was pretty clear the entire time that you were referring to Lucky Charms, but thanks for the completely unnecessary and ironically confusing clarification.
"Are you into astrology, cause um, I'm trying to make it to Uranus." - Kanye West
Song: "Gettin It In" (2004)
Album: Kiss Of Death
We're afraid of telling Neil deGrasse Tyson this line because we're pretty sure he'll fall over, die, and immediately start rolling in his grave. May this be a warning to all your college freshman taking Astronomy 101 who'll be scratching your heads when it turns out a Gemini's love compatibility isn't on the midterm.
"I was In Too Deep like Mekhi Phife." - Kanye West
Song: "I Don't Like" Remix (2012)
Album: Cruel Summer
The only part we can't figure out is who was more pissed when they heard this line, Mekhi Phife (who wasn't in In Too Deep but was in other classic hip-hop films like 8 Mile and Paid In Full) or Omar Epps who was actually did star in In Too Deep.
"Paparazzi ain't a problem, we just hide on the beach." - Asher Roth
Song: "Boyfriend (Remix)" (2012)
Album: N/A
This is the worst piece of advice we ever heard. Hide from the paparazzi on the beach? The paparazzi practically live on the beach, it's a wide open space with beautiful scenery that's usually open to the public. Haven't you seen the thousands of gossip rags that feature celebs at the beach on their cover?
"Just think if I ain't empty the clip, and he killed me/Would I still be living?" - Young Buck
Song: "Bang Bang" (2004)
Album: Straight Outta Cashville
“Just think, if my name wasn’t Young Buck/Would my name be Young Buck?” “Just think, if I was missing my legs/Would that mean that I had no legs?” “Just think, when I go outside/Does that mean that I’m not inside?” Our brains hurt from trying to figure out how Buck thinks or doesn’t think.
"There's no need to lie folk/Why you sleeping with ya eyes closed?" - Timbaland
Song: "Get On the Bus" (1998)
Album: Why Do Fools Fall in Love (Soundtrack)
Um….is there another way we're supposed to be sleeping?
"My paragraph alone is worth five mics/A twelve song LP, that's thirty-six mics." - Redman
Song: "5 Boroughs" (1999)
Album: The Corruptor (Soundtrack)
For that line alone Redman deserves to fail elementry math 32 times.
"I got a little boy to look after/And if I died then my child would be a bastard." - Scarface
Song: "Mind Playing Tricks On Me" (1991)
Album: We Can't Be Stopped
Face's mind must have really been playing tricks on him because a bastard is defined as "one born to a woman and a man who are not legally married" and not a kid whose father just died. If Scarface were to die along with his baby's mother, then his son would be an orphan.
"I'm Rondo with the bongos." - Pusha T
Song: "Open Your Eyes" (2011)
Album: Fear of God
Yes, you’re right Pusha, “Rondo” does rhyme with “bongo.” Unfortunately, unless in addition to being an elite NBA point guard Rajon Rondo is also a renowned percussionist those two things are unrelated. See also: “I’m Jason Kidd with Mr. Pibb.” “I’m Derrick Rose with the garden hose.” It's also possible Pusha is referring to his own skills playing the bongos but we're pretty sure he doesn't play the bongos.
"I got more hoes than the Ozone." - Silkk The Shocker
Song: "My Car" (1996)
Album: The Shocker
You don't hear as much about it these days, but back in the '90s the Ozone layer basically came up in every debate about the environment. Of course, people were discussing holes in the Ozone layer, not hoes because it's a layer in Earth's atmosphere, not a fucking corner pimp.
"License plate say 'money makin' ni**a fa sho'." - Mannie Fresh
Song: "Big Ballin" (1998)
Album: How You Luv That Vol. 2
That’s way too many letters to fit on a license plate. Maybe he got the DMV to make him a “fo sho” license plate and then he glued a piece of cardboard onto his car before it that reads “money makin’ nigga”. Alternate hypothesis: He’s driving in a car in Germany. They’ve got insanely long license plates over there.
"Round the same time Nas said 'I Can,' Bush was sending our fam to Iran." - Kanye West
Song: Mase's "Welcome Back (Remix)" (2004)
Album: N/A
No wonder Ahmadinejad was so pissed at the UN the other day. Apparently, we invaded Iran years ago.
"And I'll be damned if I co-sign a old snitch/That was gangbanging when Jaws was a goldfish." - Lloyd Banks
Song: "Ain't No Click" (2004)
Album: The Hunger For More
A goldfish is a goldfish and a shark is a shark. A goldfish cannot grow up and become a shark. Just like a turtle can't grow up and become a king cobra and Lloyd Banks can't grow up and become a relevant rapper again.
"I exchange V cards with the retards." - Mack Maine
Song: "Every Girl" (2009)
Album: We Are Young Money
What? Surely, this isn't legal.
"You done broke my heart into a million pieces/I should have seen it coming, wish I had telekinesis." - LMFAO
Song: "Love Lockdown" Remix (2008)
Album: None (Freestyle)
Picking on LMFAO for bad rhymes is like picking on a fat, asthmatic kid for being slow, but this song was being played on the radio 7,972 times a day at one point so we just have to single it out. While having telekinesis—the ability to move objects with your mind—would be cool, it definitely wouldn't help you see anything coming.
"Now watch him make a movie like Albert Hitchcock." - Pitbull
Song: "I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)" (2009)
Album: Rebelution
Umm, don't you mean Alfred Hitchcock?
"I'm an animal/Half man, half mammal." - Jay Z
Song: "Already Home" (2009)
Album: The Blueprint 3
First off, Jigga establishes that he is not a man but an animal. But then, he claims he is in fact, half of a man. And then he asserts that he's a half mammal which means he could be either a human being or a variety of animals that are categorized as mammals. What we're trying to say here is that we are confused.
"Dizzy Gillespie, he played a sax!" - Greg Nice
Song: "Funky For You" (1989)
Album: Nice and Smooth
Actually, Dizzy played the trumpet.
"I can double my density from 360 degrees to 720 instantly." - Canibus
Song: "Freestyle" (1998)
Album: The Mixtape, Vol. III
Clearly, Canibus has no idea what unit is used to measure density.
"32 grams raw, chop it in half, get 16, double it times three/We got 48, which mean a whole lot of cream/Divide the
Song: "Affirmative Action" (1996)
Album: It Was Written
WORST ARITHMETIC EVER.
"There's three of us/But we're not the Beatles." - Run–D.M.C.
Song: "King of Rock" (1985)
Album: King of Rock
Actually, the Beatles had four members. That's sorta why they called them the Fab Four, you know?
"So cold I frostbite 'em/No Pig Latin but I hog-tied 'em." - 2 Chainz
Song: "Like Me" (2012)
Album: Based on a T.R.U. Story
Pig Latin? Like “Apray inelay atthay akemay onay uckingfay ensesay”? That kind of Pig Latin? A pig and a hog are related things…and…past that, we’ve got no clue what 2 Chainz was even attempting here. I guess they could be completely separate clauses, as in “I am unfamiliar with Pig Latin, also, should the chance arise, I would gladly tie up your girlfriend.”