Image via Getty / Neilson Barnard
35.
It took a little longer than usual, but lo and behold Khaled SZN is upon us yet again. A new album means new songs that vary between hard-hitters built to rattle trunks in his old Miami stomping grounds, pop hits to keep the Kid's Choice Awards appearances coming, and R&B-tinged jams. And, of course, a zillion features. Even at nearly half the length of his last relase, the list of A and B-list talents lending their bars and hooks to Khaled's latest opus easily blows past two dozen. Some are dead weight, some put the project on their backs, and others are just here for a good time. Let's sort 'em out.
34.070 Shake
Song: "Holy Mountain"
Shake mostly handles chorus duty here but a "Ghost Town" knockout contribution, this is not.
33.Future
Song: "Top Off"
"Top Off" should have been a smash hit with a line-up like this and yet, it's merely cool. Bey and Jay dropped an album together that puts what they do here in the spin cycle, so I'm going to attribute this dub to Nayvadius. This just isn't his best hook work, plain and simple. Maybe he still felt a way over "The Story of O.J."
32.Travis Scott
Song: "Celebrate"
I'm still running ASTROWORLD back so much the disc is skipping, but I don't know what happened here. Flame's hook is a little earworm-y but otherwise, this just ain't it. The visual is fun, though.
31.Post Malone
Song: "Celebrate"
Post is on less of "Celebrate" than Travis, which is the only reason why he ekes ahead of him.
30.Chance the Rapper
Song: "No Brainer"
Chano didn't think too hard on this one... but at least it's better than "I Love You So Much." Forgot about that one, didn't you?
29.Quavo
Song: "No Brainer"
Quavo FedEx'ed this Next-Day Air, but Quavo on pop-autopilot is still endearing.
28.Mavado
Song: "Holy Mountain"
Mavado is talking that talk here, and the only detraction is he just doesn't shine as bright as his peers Sizzla and Buju, who get more airtime to really go in.
27.Lil Wayne ("Freak N You")
Song: "Freak N You"
Technically, I like "Freak N You" a lot more than "Jealous." But since we're talking specifically about features here, and not the overall song, Weezy shines better on the aforementioned posse cut than on this duet with Gunna. Still, overall this song is classic Wayne-sizzurp-lust material and Gunna complements it perfectly. More of these two together please!
26.Big Sean ("Jealous")
Song: "Jealous"
Jhene must have been the one to put Sean onto chakras, right? Right.
25.Cee-Lo Green
Song: "Won't Take My Soul"
Cee-Lo is always solid, but this song kind of sticks out like a sore thumb amidst the rest of the album. And this is nowhere near as compelling as what he did on Offset's album just a few months prior.
24.Nas
Song: "Won't Take My Soul"
I liked NASIR a little more than most, but the complaints a lot of people had about Esco rapping uninterestedly on there is my main issue with this song. Still, it's not a complete waste of time, off the strength of "Pray for the day I bust a nina on that bitch who killed Selena" alone.
23.SZA
Song: "Just Us"
I'm not really a fan of this one. Every Khaled album features his own spin on a famous beat, i.e. "Wild Thoughts" or Major Key's "Do You Mind." Those offered fresh perspectives on classic production, though; this track really just plays like a "Ms. Jackson" cover (which isn't very compelling). Still, we're judging features here ,and SZA will never not step up to the plate. I just wish she had something more exciting to play with.
22.Buju Banton ("Holy Ground")
Song: "Holy Ground"
After the scorced earth of "Holy Mountain," the album ends with a Buju reprise that flips the script, serving as more of a soothing balm than the intro. As Big Sean would say, harmonize those chakras.
21.21 Savage
Song: "Wish Wish"
This verse is cool, but I grade any verse that has a tired "We the best" Khaled pun on a Khaled album a little harsher. He doesn't quite match Belcalis' energy. (This ranking is pure coincidence, I'm not a dickhead, I swear!)
20.Meek Mill ("Weather the Storm")
Song: "Weather the Storm"
Meek ruminating on his pain is always to the listener's gain.
19.Lil Baby ("You Stay")
Song: "You Stay"
One typically expects a Baby feature to land on some hard shit, but he capably bodies the For the Ladies wave here. Solid casting-against-type from directors Khaled and Lenny.
18.Chris Brown
Song: "Jealous"
Chris Brown is a staple in the Khaled troupe, and probably will be until someone throws the book at him. This is the kind of 1Oak-ready hook CB can make in his sleep: absolutely nothing worth writing home about, but solid nonetheless and deceptively catchy.
17.Jeremih
Song: "You Stay"
It's not a Khaled album without at least one posse cut featuring Jeremih, who always knocks it out of the park.
16.Gunna
Song: "Freak N You"
Gunna is an offspring on the Carter family tree, so it's a thrill to hear them together and sounding great in every complimentary way. We need more of this.
15.Meek Mill ("You Stay")
Song: "You Stay"
Are you surprised Meek sounds better on the *ladies* track than he does on a song named "Weather the Storm"? Us, too. Multitudes!
14.Sizzla
Song: "Holy Mountain"
Alongside Buju, Mavado, and Shake, Sizzla sets the tone for the album beautifully. While Buju and Mavado tackle faith more directly, Sizzla preaches wariness. Message received.
13.Lil Wayne ("Jealous")
Song: "Jealous"
Wayne can skate on bubblegummy radio-type jams like this in his sleep.
12.Buju Banton ("Holy Mountain")
Song: "Holy Mountain"
My son Buju kicked his verse off by talking about the gates of hell, and he just gets more pious from there: "Hypocrites and jezebels dance to the Devil's delight/They made a pact, they made a pact." You won't find a heavier verse elsewhere on this album.
11.John Legend
Song: "Higher"
There is no one else who I'd want handling hook duty on what would unfortunately turn out to be Nipsey Hussle's last song than this guy. Pathos and heart are guarantees when you see Legend listed, and he did not disappoint.
10.J Balvin
Song: "You Stay"
Four straight years of high school spanish still weren't enough for me to translate this verse off the top, but what I do know for sure is my guy's flowing his ass off here.
9.Rick Ross
Song: "Big Boy Talk"
Renzel said, "Half of my kilos insured by State Farm." Release Port of Miami 2 immediately!
8.Lil Baby ("Weather the Storm")
Song: "Weather the Storm"
My God, Baby bodied this. The fact it isn't higher is just a testament to how stacked the rest of the features on here are. Hopefully this makes the case for him to be included on more of these posse albums moving forward.
7.Jeezy
Song: "Big Boy Talk"
Part of the fun of a Khaled album is the context and subtext that some of the lineups he arranges carry. Jeezy and Ross rhyming alongside each other will always be a thrill following their contentious beef. Usually, Renzel wins, but I think Jeezy came through with the slightly better verse here.
6.Big Sean ("Thank You")
Song: "Thank You"
Sean spazzed, moreso off energy and flow than actual bars, but still. This feels like the backdoor pilot to whatever he has up his sleeve for later this year with his own album. Consider me hyped.
5.Cardi B
Song: "Wish Wish"
Phew, this might be the standout on the album. Cardi didn't come to play, and she really floats over Tay Keith production. Something to consider while she keeps working on that sophomore album ya heard?
4.JAY-Z
Song: "Top Off"
JAY-Z's flow isn't as seamless here as it's been elsewhere in 2018, but damn, those Zimmerman bars will always hit. The Family Man turned listening to Kidz Bop with his toddler into a mean-mug flex (because, you see, they're in a '61 Chevy that us brokies couldn't get our hands on if we tried). Then he tees his wife up perfectly to come through and body him. And there's always a ripped-from-his-own-headlines reality factor in Jigga verses that always give them an extra thrill. Bragging about the hefty receipt that he and his entourage racked up on All-Star-Weekend, then letting us know OG Juan picked up the tab is multi-faceted stunting. The clique is rugged indeed.
3.Justin Bieber
Song: "No Brainer"
Most pop stars are overrated. Justin Drew Biebervelli, by and large, is not. He came out of his sabbatical last year for Khaled, somehow sounding like he was still in vacation mode and killing it nonetheless. This is just an effortlessly beautiful layup, pure and simple.
2.Beyoncé
Song: "Top Off"
If there's any benefit to keeping this old dog of a song on the album, it's giving this blackout verse from B a proper home. My face melted the first time I heard the queen rhyme "Freaknik" with "Free Meek." If she wants to pause album number seven to give us a rap EP that's all B bars instead, let me be the first to say I'm here for it.
1.Nipsey Hussle
Song: "Higher"
This would have been among the top five features regardless of circumstance. Unfortunately, the context here is unavoidable. There may be more posthumous Nipsey Hussle records to come, but this is the first, and as such, it's a heavy event. If it was a superficial radio posse cut, that might have been a different story; one that may not have even come out of the vault this soon. But then again, Nipsey doesn't do superficial. Even in a compilation arena, Nipsey takes his turn at the mic as an opportunity to deliver a track with meaning. A verse that serves, simultaneously, as an ode to his hometown, his lineage, his legacy, and his love, is Nipsey's music in a microcosm. Listening to the song (particularly the last verse) and watching the video can be somber, but along with the great John Legend on the assist, "Higher" is as much a searing reminder of the talent we lost as it is a winning tribute worth celebrating.