Image via Complex Original
This introduction is gonna be all off the dome! Ayo! Yo! Hold on, man, hold on. Alright, nevermind, freestyle battling isn't so easy. Not just anyone can pull off what B. Rabbit did, or what some of these guys continue to do. One has to sword fight using only words, bobbing and weaving, deflecting and épée-ing, digging up their past to bury them in the present.
Street thugs bandying about with wordplay to fight one another—rap battles are by far the most cerebral art form on Worldstar. Eric and Jeff Rosenthal of ItsTheReal.com picked through the Internet's endless pile of hood DVDs to find the 25 Greatest Rap Battles on YouTube. Watch them at your 9 to 5 so you can get that work.
Written by Eric and Jeff Rosenthal (@ItsTheReal)
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25. Eli Porter vs. Envy
Winner: Envy
Year: 2003
Many words have been said about this legendary battle, and at least one documentary has been filmed about it. More Napoleon Dynamite than 8 Mile, the boys of Chamblee High School had no idea their AV Club gathering would go so viral. The whole video is ridiculous: Marv-O putting his hands all over the judges, the lo-fi quality to the whole thing, Envy's opening lines (which rhyme 'cripple' with 'cripple'), but obviously Eli Porter is responsible for anyone talking about it.
Somehow, even though his shirt is half-tucked, even though his arm is limp, even though his eyes look through the back of his head, even though he loses the battle that day-Eli wins the war in the end. His "I'm the best, mayne, I did it" has been said by everyone from you to me to Kanye West. Not too bad for a kid who can't even wear clothes correctly. In hindsight, how does he lose to Envy? Judge Stephen "Action" Jackson says, "They both did good, but Envy did great," which is some nonsensical bullshit, straight out of Eli's book.
24. Stylin On You
Winner: The puncher
Year: N/A
Eight thoughts, in watching this video: 1. Surprised that more rap battles don't end like this. 2. Might watch more rap battles if they all ended like this. 3. We don't even need judges to figure out who won this battle. 4. Although, which one is E-N-J and which one is NIKS? 5. The guy throwing the punch did warn him not to touch him. 6. He didn't touch him, as far as we can tell. 7. That's a quick right hook! 8. Maybe he really was mad that he was styled on.
23. Charles Hamilton vs. Serius Jones
Winner: Serius Jones
Year: 2009
Hot 97's long-running Who's Next showcase at SOB's is always guaranteed to have people talking about the next up-and-coming artists. However, on this night in 2009, all that talking came from the up-and-coming artist-and against battle rap royalty Serius Jones, who just stopped by to check out the show.
As Charles was ending the show, he hopped into the crowd with his microphone on and a J.Dilla instrumental playing in the background, and offered up the opportunity for aspiring rappers to spit. When Serius took the mic, he said "[This is] freestyle rambling; I'll show you how to do this, Charles Hamilton." That sparked something in Charles, who was headlining the show, after all, and resulted in a few rounds of back-and-forth rhymes.
Charles hit Serius about his failed label deal with Ludacris' DTP; Serius went after Charles' infatuation with the color pink: "This guy is a rookie; your clothes look like the inside of a pussy." Just as interesting: one of the aspiring MCs in the crowd that night, who went off when Charles passed the mic, was a then-unknown rapper named K.Dot, who grew up to become Kendrick Lamar. That night serves as a clear marker of time, where afterward we see Kendrick's career steeply ascend, and Charles' go into a severe nosedive.
22. Hitman Holla vs. John John Da Don
Winner: John John Da Don
Year: 2012
New York's John John Da Don had a pretty easy course ahead of him while working on his home turf. Watching from home, one can get annoyed by how on-his-side the crowd is, cheering every line like manna from heaven. Ignore that, though. This is a fairly-even match-up of wits, with St. Louis' Hitman Holla saying lines and John John Da Don flipping them back on him.
Opening up, Hitman Holla said, "I could put him in the sky, or put him in the soil/Multiple choice me, I got a couple answers for you." It's an allusion to a 'multiple choice' series that John John allegedly stole from Serius Jones. Acknowledging the history, and with the crowd saying them with him, John John repeats the lines, spitting on Hitman throughout. 'Nuff disrespect. Later, John John might have the lines of the night, closing out with: "A million views don't make you a vet/All that screaming while you're rapping don't make you a threat."
21. Lady Luck vs. Remy Ma
Winner: Remy Ma
Year: 2004
Ladies, ladies, why must you fight? Isn't there enough room in the game for two of y'all? No? Oh, okay. Well then...GIRL FIGHT! If you can hear above the cat screeching, it's awfully impressive to listen to young Remy spit. Here's how she started the first round of her first appearance at Fight Klub: "Back in the building, the bitch is back on the map/See I'm a beautiful bitch that just happens to rap/I spit straight rap/Luck, you straight wack/Just last year, you was like, Remy, let's do a track/I ain't impressed that you dropped 450 on a new jersey/I just dropped 450 on a crib in New Jersey/But I'm from the South Bronx, motherfucker, you heard me?/And I could tell you're a bird cause you get up too early."
But just before you think it's a runaway for Reminisce, Lady Luck takes the second round by storm with lines like, "Listen bitch, I'm the one with the Jersey plates/You talking real slick, coward, won't you bring it to my face?/I got more than a two way on my waist, and slugs won't be missing you, they opposite a case/You must be drunk, had a couple shots at your name, a couple of shots to your frame, leave you crippled and maimed/You so lame, my flow flame, rawer than cocaine/Ain't no Ante Up, bitch, Luck taking your chain." Wow. That's all well and good, but the pay better NOT be equal to the mens' winnings, amiright?!
20. JC vs. Chilla Jones
Winner: Unsure
Year: 2012
With JC and Chilla Jones relatively new to the scene, it'd be incredibly easy to be skeptical: they're too young, too green, too 'nobody' to make it onto this list. And yet, JC's third round pumps bar after bar, to the point where each line makes the Harlem room cheer and gets the clock to stop: "We heavy armed, like Precious" gets topped by "Stomp him, but leave him choices: Timberland or Nike/Face the tree or get chin-checked."
It's a masterful dismantling: a girl who had earlier been cheering for Chilla screams mid-way through, "You just lost round three." And yet, it's close. The more one watches, it's clearer that Chilla's got the stronger words for his opponent-they're just more understated.
19. Jae Millz vs. E. Ness
Winner: Jae Millz
Year: 2002
Remember the years 2002-2004? When reality TV meant aspiring rappers arguing and throwing punches, as opposed to the has-been rappers who argue and throw punches these days? Well, when Diddy was making Da Band, he found Philly MC E. Ness, and in an effort to size him up, he brought in Harlem's own Jae Millz to battle. While most of the lines from both sides were generic-like, "I'm not impressed with your punchlines; I'll run up on you, like one time, broad day in the sunshine"-the aggression in their rhymes was true, and each raooer in their own way must have seen this TV moment as a huge opportunity.
An exacerbated Diddy was just about speechless after the first round, calling it a draw. After two rounds, Diddy couldn't take it anymore and brought the battle to a close becaus he was so impressed with the effort. He made a point to note that neither man was a loser. As of press time, record labels had yet to return calls on whether either artist was a winner.
18. Hollow Da Don Vs. Big T
Winner: Hollow Da Don
Year: 2010
Big T, who, by the looks of it, lives up to his name, comes out first with heavy hands and tough talk. He claims his opponent, Hollow Da Don, talks big game but can't live up to it. Near the end of his first verse, he says, "Sound like somebody was playing too much Street Fighter." It's his strongest line, which Hollow quickly throws aside upon being given the chance: "I was playing Street Fighter all night long/For four hours and never picked Balrog," pointing at the monstrosity to his left.
Hollow gives Big T "everything from battered intestines to bladder infections." The giant out of Chicago tries to look disaffected, though his hazy gaze ends up looking worried. The top YouTube comment says, "Big T probably still has nightmares about this battle." Yup, it's thorough.
17. Dizaster vs. DNA
Winner: DNA
Year: 2011
In 2009, while battling Toronto rapper Organik in the Bay, LA's Dizaster said, among other things, "Canadians are faggots." (Note: Diz's first volley was an extended takedown of the country, saying that our neighbors to the north are effeminate and/or weak for many reasons, one of them somehow because they have universal health care.) Two years later, Dizaster met New York's DNA in Toronto; Drake and Organik co-hosted the event.
Lo and behold, in the final moments of the 45 minute back-and-forth, DNA dared Dizaster to say what he had said to Organik those years before. Dizaster took the bait at first, and quietly repeated, "Canadians are faggots," muttering the line through his teeth. And then the boos rained down. DNA chided him for saying that in front of Drake, in front of Organik, and for saying it originally in Oakland, where there would be no repercussions. So, DNA dared him to say it again. He didn't. That last five minutes might be the most thrilling dissection of a rapper in battle, ever.
16. Hitman Holla vs. Arsonal
Winner: Hitman Holla
Year: 2010
Rap comes in two forms these days: with authenticity and without. There are those artists whose every word is the 100 percent truth, and there are those rappers whose facts are more artfully molded. Both ways have their merits, and both kinds of artists have found success. But when it comes to battle rap, fact vs. fiction rarely results in a good fight. But credit to Arsonal and Hitman Holla, who made this one interesting.
In this long-awaited battle, Arsonal went the more colorful route, using amazing wordplay to describe exactly each and every way he'd kill, maim, handicap, hospitalize, hurt, and destroy Hitman Holla, his relatives, his friends, and anyone he's ever associated with. And Holla basically responded by saying, "No. You won't." He called Arsonal out on making huge threats on T-Rex... and never following through. And to air him out while getting guffaws out of the audience? Ballgame.
12. T-Rex vs. Ayeverb
Winner: T-Rex
Year: 2012
When Diddy's in the building, the stakes are guaranteed to be high. So it's no surprise that T-Rex and Ayeverb came out swinging in their first round during last year's Summer Madness 2 event. T-Rex played to the Bad Boy CEO by saying he'd go through Ayeverb's hood, take out a number of associates, and claim a body 10 years down the line, like G.Dep. Ayeverb returned the favor, taking down Rex's hometown of Harlem piece by piece, finishing with: "Harlem can't control A$AP; he made Texas music and sip sizzy/Harlem can't control they hoes, Jim Jones can't even control Chrissy." The cameras cut to Diddy wildin' in VIP over that.
Right after that, the stakes literally went up, as Diddy sent down $10,000 to go to the winner of the second round. And how does Rex respond? "Mook wanted 25k to kill a n***a that's ill/For this 10k Diddy got, I'll kill this n***a for real!"
14. Jin Tha MC vs. Iron Solomon
Winner: Iron Solomon
Year: 2007
In Fight Klub's minute-to-win-it format, the battling MCs only have three 60-second rounds to destroy their opponent. Fight Klub champ Jin tha Emcee (famous for being an early conqueror of 106 & Park's Freestyle Friday competition) knew the rules, but chose to hold back until the third round by which time his back was against the wall. Solomon, then a hungry star on the battling circuit, dominated each round-especially the second, which he ended with, "Your career's the saddest story, all your battles corny, now you and Canibus can share the same category." Needless to say, Iron Solomon walked out with each and every Benjamin that Jin promised he'd win.
13. 40 Cal vs. Sam Scarfo
Winner: 40 Cal
Year: 2004
Dipset's 40 Cal. apparently had no idea who he was battling with. No, really: in a video commentary, 40 Cal. says he didn't know Sam Scarfo's name until midway through this Fight Klub appearance. Still, though generic, his punchlines packed wallops, saying of Scarfo: "His heat only go off, 'cause he don't pay his gas bill." (Also: "I'll put you in an all-white cast like Seinfeld.")
Scarfo, in their rematch, would say, "It's a shame your team lame, and your future rides on Jim Jones," but he just didn't come with anything touching 40 Cal. in this first battle, and 40 Cal. walked away with the crown.
Don't sleep, though. Scarfo would go on to win their televised rematch, telling an interviewer afterwards, "They say I won the most money at Fight Klub in the shortest amount of time in history." Unfortunately, Fight Klub would spell the end of his riches and fame. Shortly after this match-up, Sam Scarfo became the first solo artist signed to Def Jam under Jay-Z where he'd be buried in obscurity beneath Ne-Yo, Rihanna and somewhere behind Teairra Mari. It's a shame his future was riding on a major label.
12. Mistah FAB vs. Jin Tha MC
Winner: Jin Tha MC
Year: 2005
At Hot Import Nights in San Mateo, it seemed like a fair place to do battle. Sure, Mistah FAB's from the Bay area, but Asian faces filled the crowd. Jin's closing line for his first round was "You ain't reppin' Oakland, you don't play for the Raiders," which, it's like, "Sure, I guess." He got a lot of support from the crowd for that line, though.
Maybe as a reaction, FAB opened with a helluva gambit: "If I was with my people, my name'd be buzzing/The only reason they cheering's 'cause they you're cousins!" And so up FAB crawled, his face in the muck. The most enjoyable parts of the video are watching Jin run away from Mistah FAB every time he approaches.
11. Cassidy vs. Freeway
Winner: Cassidy
Year: 2001
In 2001, Cassidy was but a 19-year-old Philly rapper bubbling up through the ranks and was signed to Full Surface Records. Freeway, also from Philadelphia, had only recently joined Roc-a-fella's family, having parlayed a high school battle-rapping career into a membership in State Property after being noticed by Beanie Sigel. This legendary battle, hosted by Swizz Beatz in New York's Hit Factory studios allegedly came about after Jay-Z and Swizz placed bets on whose roster had better upcoming talent.
For five rounds, Cassidy and Freeway went at one another with rapid-fire rhymes, pre-written as they were. Cassidy won the day with lines like, "Clap, turn your Sixers hat to a headband" and "I aim for your neck and catch your head if you duck." (Note: Freeway blamed his loss on having used his best bars on the radio that morning, as well as an a capella format that just didn't work for him. Still, the rules are the rules.) Cassidy and Freeway continue to be asked about the battle to this very day, though it happened well over a decade ago.
10. Murda Mook vs. Serius Jones
Winner: Serius Jones
Year: 2010
The matchup between Serius Jones and Murda Mook remains fairly controversial over two years later-there's no clear-cut winner, evenly-matched as they are. To be honest, this isn't even a showcase of two rappers at their best; what's more fascinating is watching as Serius and Mook finish each other's lines and disrespect one another's time. It gets to a point where Serius goes off the dome and says, "Stop repeating my rhymes, take my dick out yo' mouth." (Serius is famed for freestyling, responding to barbs in real-time, as opposed to most battle rappers who write their attacks beforehand.)
That's not to say that Serius Jones didn't come prepared: in opening, he goes straight up 8 Mile and says of Murda Mook, "Your government name is Johnathan Ancrum/He went to Fordham Prep Catholic, that's a private school." Battle rappers: if you had any sort of privilege growing up or came from a good home, just stay in bed. However, Mook, for his part, brought half of Harlem to back him up, which makes for an entertaining end. That closing "dot" meme will show up in fights forevermore.
9. Madness vs. Soul Khan
Winner: Soul Khan
Year: 2010
There's a lot to see in this 15 minute battle between Grind Time emcees Soul Khan and Madness. Yes, Madness perfectly reenacts Soul Khan's "Holdonholdonholdonholdonholdonholdon." And yes, Khan perfectly slices and dices Madness' rotund belly with lines like, "You got the abs of Schwatzenegger when he was pregnant in Junior." Khan lunges after Madness when he says, "See Grind Time owes you nothing, up in all of your vids/So get the fuck over yourself, Tony, the rest of us already did."
It's fascinating to see Madness flame out in the second round. And yes, it's laugh-out-loud funny when Soul Khan spits, "It's like your dinner is played by Nicholas Cage: it's gone in 60 seconds." But the best reason to watch this video is for Poison Pen's (He's in the Grind Time shirt) reactions to punchlines.
8. Jin Tha MC vs Serius Jones
Winner: Serius Jones
Year: 2005
As if torn from the pages of someone's 106 & Park fan fiction, Freestyle Friday champs Serius Jones and Jin Tha MC finally faced one another for Fight Klub and MTV2's cameras in 2005. It got ugly quick, with Serius ripping apart Jin's go-to playbook in his opening lines: "I done peeped your whole rhyming game, it's kinda lame/All you do is look around, find a celebrity and start dropping names/Then, with a weak crowd, you throw old punchlines in the mix and call it a freestyle." More notably, Serius says, "Ain't there two billion people in China? How you ain't go platinum over there?" And it only gets more racist from there!
It's a fairly one-sided fight, because Jin's race-baiting isn't as appealing to the crowd as Serius'. That being said, Jin doesn't back down, nearly snatching the prize money away with the lines, "I ain't surprised that you came with your mans/But y'all like D-12, no one knows the name of your band!"
7. Murda Mook vs. Loaded Lux
Winner: Unsure
Year: 2007
In a battle that looked like it sparked up naturally in a Harlem clothing store back in 2007, battle legends Murda Mook and Loaded Lux went after each other for eight rounds! Surrounded by folks dressed up like Juelz Santana and Papoose, there was apparently nary a judge amongst the crowd.
By the time the video fades out, it's left to the YouTube commenters to decide a winner. From a sampling of the comments: "Lux won dat shit," "They should of made this 3 rounds lux killed this n***a mook shit was a bit shaky," "Lux ate mook wit dem lil n***a bars," "Mook won," and "By da 2nd Rd Mook was mad af... but it was tie... him gettin all mad made him look like he lost tho." But the real winner? Whoever said this: "Calicoe better than both of them."
6. Dizaster vs. Swave Sevah
Winner: Dizaster
Year: 2010
Los Angeles vs. New York. Armenian vs. African American. Fast-paced vs. deliberate. Mind vs. muscle. Dizaster spits, "I'm the shit; you're a port-o-potty/I'm the real thing; you're a photocopy." He piled on: "You're a senior citizen, slash corny rhymer/So I'm not talking about sports when I say he's a forty-niner." He even goes after some boo-birds in the audience.
With no microphones and a room packed to the brim, it seems like everyone's tight, but even Dizaster had to laugh when Swave hit him with, "See, my heat been blasting, but I don't need that to take shots at you/N***a, I will beat Bin Laden's location outta you."
5. Iron Solomon vs. Murda Mook
Winner: Murda Mook
Year: 2012
SMACK / URL's Summer Madness 2 event last year at New York City's Webster Hall certainly brought out the hometown heavyweights. Manhattan's Iron Solomon and Harlem's Murda Mook went nose to nose, throwing one cocaine allegation after another at each other for nearly an hour. The crowd, which included Busta Rhymes, Diddy, and Q-Tip, fell all over each other as Solomon and Mook broke down each others' battle styles, puffed-up pasts, and the sexual exploits of their wives-for the first half of the battle, it was evenly matched.
In time, the blood-thirsty audience began to tune out Iron Solomon's extremely-wordy wordplay about every member of Mook's crew, and fully bought into Mook's WWE stunts-like talking to Solomon as Trayvon Martin would to George Zimmermann, finishing by pouring Skittles on the ground.
If Mook could have dropped his mic, he would have but it was a lavalier wired under his shirt, which resulted in some awkward audio-he started saying his goodbyes to everyone on the stage at the same time as Solomon was doing his last round. Solomon stopped midway, and while he denied any cocaine claims, he acknowledged that he took the L that night.
4. Jae Millz vs Murda Mook
Winner: Jae Millz
Year: 2003
Up on 125th Street, Harlem spitters Murda Mook and Jae Millz spit for Harlem. There are quotables aplenty, from Mook saying, "His career? It's on a treadmill/Yeah, he getting run, but he ain't going nowhere," to Millz returning fire with, "What the fuck is a Murda Mook? You murdering who? N***a, you's trash; you can't even murder the booth." Mook went in, so to speak, when he said, "Go ahead, turn around if you'd like/Cause through the grapevine, Millz, I heard that's how you ask for the pipe/Don't get trapped in the hype, homeboy; you ain't real/I don't wanna hear no mess about how you spray steel/Cause in the pen, they told you to stay still/Twenty n***as in the shower, waiting to jay Millz."
Millz brought the house down when he said, "You don't have to tell me about your booth, cause I'm wearing it." (He shows Mook his watch.) Each rapper was focused through to the end with Murda Mook taking Jae Millz' flow from his NYC hit, "No No No," and Millz finishing with, "It don't matter, Mook Murda or Murder Mook/Either way, this n***a pussy, my mother'll murder Mook."
3. Serius Jones vs. Charlie Clips
Winner: Serius Jones
Year: 2012
After a very strong opening round by Charlie Clips, where he calls out former champ Serius Jones for being a barber and for retiring and needing to come back to battling, Serius smirks and leads the crowd in applause...followed by a complete dismantling with his first line: "9 years ago, I was a barber, so I know how to handle Clips."
Serius' first round is fine art: "You graduated from Washington Irving in 2001, but you acting young on this god damn stage? You mean to tell me you had four battles, two mixtapes, no deal, and we're the same god damn age?!" He leads the crowd in cheering. He totally breaks down Clips' personal failings, obscurity, age, and lack of any success in the music industry. And in between lines, he points at Clips and says, "You're dead. He's dead."
This battle is like a boxing match, with huge twists and turns in momentum. After Clips completes a better-than-expected second round, Serius loses the crowd during his turn. But when you think that Clips has it all sewn up at the start of the last round, he stumbles and falls short of the finish line, leaving Serius with an opportunity. After apologizing for his second round, Serius gets serious and finishes what he started.
2. Loaded Lux vs. Calicoe
Winner: Loaded Lux
Year: 2012
Rap battles are nothing if not theatrical: they're cousins to spoken-word performances where silences matter as much as the words emphasized. Perhaps the figure who understands this idea most is Loaded Lux, who, in coming out of retirement to battle Calicoe, led an entire funeral party onto the stage of New York's Webster Hall.
Shrouded in black, Lux's posse of mourners turned the place into a Baptist hall screaming "Amen!" and "Hallelujah!" and allowing the soon-to-be dead to find peace-or whatever. Yes, it was literal and overwrought; sure, it pandered. But it sold his lines: as he sliced up Calicoe with his words, the women swooned, bursting into hysterics. (Note: Calicoe, it should be said, wore a T-shirt.)
It wouldn't have amounted to much had Lux not had the lines to back him up, but "You gon' get this work" has become an everlasting catchphrase. As if Lux didn't make it enough of a scene, Diddy, Busta Rhymes, Q-Tip and Lloyd Banks hung over the balconies, clutching their mouths as the two rappers went at one another.
1. E. Ness vs. Iron Solomon
Winner: Iron Solomon
Year: 2010
E. Ness should've done his homework. He walked into this GrindTime match-up against Iron Solomon, coasting off his ancient MTV credits, only to have Solomon pick his resume apart. Line by line, item by item, Solomon tore up his opponent's lifework like scraps of paper.
The Jewish Upper West Sider started off strong, and never slowed. His opening lines included, "I ain't gon' put Diddy in my rhymes to chalk him out," before Solomon choked back a laugh. "Who the fuck am I kidding? That's all the fuck I'm gonna talk about!" Ness, theatrical but straightforward, never had a chance.
The fight exists as an exercise in research and name value: Solomon had a lot to work with and seized the opportunity, while E. Ness came in with a bunch of half-baked lines that he could have used on any white boy-most of his lines were generic boasts about why Solomon shouldn't have agreed to meet. (Note: When someone's making fun of you to your face, you don't say complicated-but-abstract statements about how you would respond with violence if only you could.) The battle is worth watching to see Solomon perform surgery without anaesthetic.