Image via Christopher Polk/Getty
Last night, most of the awards at the Grammy Awards went to Adele. However, the field of winners would be a lot wider (and more diverse) if the Recording Academy had widened out its categories a lot. Here's a case for the awards the Grammys should have given out.
Best Twitter Misidentification
Biggest Try-Hard
Mike Posner, who refused to engage in a direct interview on the red carpet. What sort of weak performance art was this?
Best Imitation of Someone Who's Had Sex
Ed Sheeran, performing "Shape of You." (Even though the looper pedals were cool.)
Best Prince Tribute
Bruno did great, but Blue Ivy takes this one with ease. Prince would've loved the purse.
Worst People to Accept an Award for David Bowie
The Chainsmokers. David Bowie seemed to have a magnanimous spirit. But not us.
Most Nerve-Wracking Moment
When Beyoncé tilted her chair back, at least one Grammy producer experienced heart palpitations.
Performance That Got You Pregnant Like Beyoncé
With his performance of "That's What I Like," Bruno tore that stage (and our hearts) up.
Best Lewk
The leather track suit, custom by Tommy Hilfiger, wins Mars two awards for one performance, in case you didn't think that he was a star.
Worst Commercial
We love Yachty. We love Carly. Target is pretty great. This, though? This was horrible.
The You Are Literally the Feds Award
Neil Portnow, President of the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences, who you know from Kanye's tweets about the problems with the Grammys. Portnow called for music education in his speech. Maybe someone needs to educate him and the Recording Academy voters about what matters.
Best New Leader of the Revolution
Busta Rhymes picked up a new mantle last night, calling Donald Trump "President Agent Orange."
Most Obvious Bid for Attention
Gnarly Davidson, ladies and gentlemen.
(But really, we still don't understand.)
Best Kept Composure When You Don't Win Best Album of the Year But Definitely Should Have
Beyoncé kept things classy in the face of an unfair decision—as always.
Best Way to Handle Beating Beyoncé at Anything
Step one: acknowledge the mistake.
Step two: break the award in half.