Image via Complex Original
Battle rap is an arduous sport. It requires, among other things, nerves of steel, an uncanny memory, and the ability not to go Super Saiyan when someone is an inch away from your face calling your mother everything but a child of God.
At its essence, battle rap is about verbally embarrassing your opponent—period. Whether it’s clowning members of the opposing team for points on the popular MTV2 series Wild 'N Out (which begins airing its seventh season June 10), or humiliating an adversary on the Ultimate Rap League for “oohs,” “aahs,” and “gyod dambs,” the objective still remains the same. So needless to say, with all the high-pressure factors involved, things can go south real quick.
There is a sensitive balance that keeps events like these from going from a tense war of words to a possible shit storm, sometimes literally (we’ll get to that later). Once that balance tilts in the wrong direction, it’s damn near impossible to regain order.
Here are 10 examples of battles taking a turn for the worst.
Trail of Tears
Matchup: Couture vs. Ms. Pak
You would think that female battle rappers would be slightly tamer than their male counterparts. But they can be just as disrespectful. Take this battle between Couture and Ms. Pak for instance: Couture’s merciless premeditated personals—including pulling out a box of Monistat and a Facebook picture of Ms. Pak’s dirty mattress—were enough to make the latter flee the scene bawling with embarrassment.
Clean Up Aisle 9
Matchup: DNA vs. Chess
This battle gave a new definition to the phrase “spit that heat.” Smack/URL’s “Rookies vs. Vets” event was the first time many of the young bulls had been on the main stage. And it really showed in one particular instance. In the middle of his battle against DNA, Chess had a Willie Beamen moment, spilling his guts, literally, all over the stage.
Talk That Shit
Matchup: Daylyt vs. Real Deal
It’s not uncommon for battlers to take exception when the crowd isn’t feeling what they are kicking. And then there’s Daylyt. Last year, during a battle with Real Deal, the gimmicky MC was more than bothered when the crowd started to boo his Headless Horseman antics, and he threatened to take action. “If I hear two more boos, Ima boo boo on the stage,” he said, after which he promptly dropped his pants and attempted unsuccessfully to drop a deuce while the crowd looked on in dismay.
Watch Your Step Kid
Matchup: Professor Green vs. Chalk
Stage presence should be a part of any battler’s repertoire. But hey, shit happens sometimes. In this matchup that went down in 2004 between Professor Green and Chalk, PG maneuver’s around the stage to pull off what he thinks is going to be an epic personal. But one misstep leaves him taking a tumble off the platform mid-rhyme. He tries to shake it off, but the damage is already done.
Does Anyone Know the Heimlich?
Matchup: Various Artists
Another one of the keys to being a good battle rapper is having the capacity to remember and regurgitate dozens of bars without skipping a beat. The good ones can block out the crowd and opponent, seizing the moment and breezing through their rounds with machine-like precision. However, those rhymers who are less inclined often find themselves drowning embarrassingly when they jump off in that water.
Pee Pee Le Pew
Matchup: Cockamamie Jamie vs. Philthy Fresh
We’re not sure exactly what happened in this battle. One thing is apparent: The dude who’s rapping (Cockamamie Jamie) literally pisses his pants. Was he scared? Does he just have an extremely weak bladder? Or dipping into even deeper realm of struggles, did he do it on purpose? Either way, this is just wrong.
My Grandmamma Gave Me That Shirt
Matchup: Pedro vs. EMC
When Pedro battled EMC last year in the KOTR league, things seemed to be going well until they weren’t. The brews and the bars were flowing until one line struck a nerve and Pedro ripped the shirt off EMC’s chest on some Deebo shit. Making things even more awkward, the rappers just stared intently at each other after the bully move. But best believe, EMC probably cried in the car.
Choke Artist
Matchup: Daylyt vs. Cityy Towers
Daylyt’s 2014 battle with Cityy Towers seems to involve a number of chokes. First, Lyt appears to forget his lines. Then, in a stalling tactic, he interacts with a battle rapper in the audience who isn’t very receptive to his advances. A scuffle ensues, with both men literally going at each other’s throats, choking each other until people are able to break up the melee.
Night Night
Matchup: Geno vs. Grizzly Jones
It’s impossible to win a battle if you aren’t conscious. Duh. Someone must have failed to mention this detail to battle rapper Geno, who took an untimely nap during his battle with Grizzly Jones last year. One thing is for sure: He wasn’t ready!
Style Wars
Matchup: ENJ vs. Nyckz
This might be the event that started the trend of battle rappers getting punched in the face for talking greasy. The close-quarters battle between ENJ and Nyckz in January 2006 was intense. Things got serious when Nyckz touched ENJ’s arm, but reached a boiling point when he spit the line that is forever cemented in battle rap lore. “Oh, you mad ‘cause I’m styling on you?” The rest, as they say, is history.