Ari Lennox says her attraction to toxic partners caused her to overlook a couple of genuinely kind people who might have been better matches.
The singer made the confession during a recent interview on the Effective Immediately radio show on Sirius XM when host Gina Views asked her if she’s met her match yet.
“Oh, never has it ever happened,” Lennox said near the two-minute mark in the video linked here. “I feel like I get close, but the more I sit with myself, the more I realize: I think I have a thing for toxic energy.”
She continued, “I think there's still some more healing that I need to do because when I look back on all of these energies: it's a shame. I gave them so much time and there were sweet energies that I didn't. Now I see those sweet energies getting married and starting families. I'm just like, ‘dang, that probably could have been me’ if I recognized the security in those individuals at the time.
I'm definitely feeling that now, I'm aware that there's something going on. There's something wrong.”
Views then asked what she thinks attracts her to that kind of energy in the first place. Lennox said the appeal often comes from the excitement she feels early on.
“I think they just seem really exciting at first. The chemistry is incredible, and they don't even always be fine,” she explained. “It's not even that like they're sexy or something—I mean, well, they're sexy, but they don't be the finest things l've ever seen. It's just an energy. Sometimes it's convenience, what we talk about. A lot of the sweeter energies that I felt like weren't for me.
I felt I could see myself falling asleep a little bit on the phone. So, I don't know if that's like, if boring is good or not. I'm trying to figure out what that means.”
After Views suggested that it might come down to the thrill of the situation, Lennox agreed, replying, “Yeah, absolutely.”
Further into the conversation, Views asked whether there is a toxic lyric Lennox has written that she still stands by. Lennox pointed to her song “Waste My Time” from her 2022 album Age/Sex/Location, while explaining that her perspective on relationships has changed as she has gotten older.
“I don't want anyone to waste my time anymore. I think that was a very youthful way of thinking,” she said. “I'm 34, it's time. Like, I don't have much more time. I mean, I hope I have a lot of time. But not a lot of time to be wasted romantically.
I want to start a family. I want a best friend. You know, these things can't happen with that toxic energy. That's not going to go anywhere."
Lennox released her third studio album Vacancy, featuring the single “Twin Flame,” in January.