In a rare interview with Vanity Fair, the artist formerly known as Kanye West opened up about his struggle with bipolar disorder and how it has impacted his personal relationships.
"Every day that I wake up, it’s a checklist of everything that I said—at least what I can recall—while in a bipolar episode," Ye told the publication. "All of the family bonds, deep relationships, and lifelong friendships that I worked so hard to build over so many years were all tarnished by all of the horrible statements that I made so impulsively."
The interview arrived one day after Ye put out a full-page ad in The Wall Street Journal apologizing to the Black and Jewish communities for his many offensive and antisemitic remarks.
In the interview, Ye said that he didn't realize he was sick during his manic episodes, during which he claimed that he was "a Nazi" and repeatedly made hurtful antisemitic remarks.
"When you’re manic, you really don’t think that you’re sick," he said. "You think that everyone else is deeply overreacting. You feel like you’re seeing the world so much more clearly on things, when in reality you’re losing your grip entirely. That’s what it felt like at that time."
Some of Ye's most frequent collaborators had a major falling out with him in recent years because of his behavior. Among his notable collaborators who distanced themselves from Ye included Pusha T, whom Ye said he missed following the release of Clipse's "Ace Trumpets." When Push spoke about it, he said that he didn't "care" and added, "I would miss me, too." He also suggested that Ye had a "lack of loyalty."
Kid Cudi also spoke about falling out with Ye and said that he "loved" his former collaborator, but he believed that there's "just no coming back" from his behavior, especially his "evil" and "vile" remarks about the late Virgil Abloh.
"There’s no coming back from that, man," he said in an interview with CBS Mornings. "I’m done with you. And it breaks my heart because I loved Kanye. I really loved him. He was part of my life changing, and at some point, he was a really good friend, but the man that he has become, I just don’t know that guy anymore. I don’t know him. I don’t know that version of him, and it’s really heartbreaking."
In his Wall Street Journal-published apology letter to the Jewish and Black communities, Ye admitted that his behavior put a major strain on his personal relationships. "I said and did things I deeply regret," he wrote. "Some of the people I love the most, I treated the worst. You endured fear, confusion, humiliation, and the exhaustion of trying to love someone who was, at times, unrecognizable. Looking back, I became detached from my true self."