Life

U.S. Coast Guard Shows Off 18 Tons of Seized Cocaine

In the wake of the 18-ton display, reporters have struggled to invent new coke puns.

The U.S. Coast Guard put a whopping 18 tons of cocaine on display Thursday, presumably just to fuck with us. The 18-ton coke haul was seized in international waters between March and June, ABC 10 Newsreported. The San Diego sector of the U.S. Coast Guard has been bragging all about it on Facebook:

The coke was offloaded and put on display by the crew of the U.S. Coast Guard boat Waesche at the 10th Avenue Marine Terminal in San Diego. According to a news release from the U.S. Coast Guard, this impressive coke collection is the result of 15 separate interceptions of suspected smuggling vessels in international waters off the coast of Central and South America. The heap also includes three cases of coke believed to have been dumped by alleged smugglers.

"Our nation faces significant threats posed by transnational organized crime networks that spread violence and instability throughout the Western Hemisphere," Capt. James Passarelli, commanding officer of the Waesche boat, said Thursday. "The crew of Waesche meets those threats head on as far from the U.S. border as possible."

The U.S. Coast Guard also boasted about all this fucking coke, collectively worth an estimated half a billion dollars, on Twitter:

This 18-ton coke heap has since been turned over to the Drug Enforcement Agency for evidence processing, CNNreported Friday.

For additional coke literature, we recommend this story about a snow-filled wheelchair cruising through John F. Kennedy International Airport.

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