Everyone knows, or at this point everyone should know, that there are numerous signs suggesting microplastics could be quite the blight on human existence. But did you know that they're also hanging out in testicles?
That's the takeaway from a new paper published this month in the peer-reviewed Toxicological Sciences journal. Researchers from the University of New Mexico, led by Dr. Xiaozhong "John" Yu, have found 12 different types of microplastics in both human and canine testes. More specifically, such plastics, which are defined as "small plastic pieces less than five millimeters long," were found in all 47 canine and 23 human testes included in the research. That means 100 percent of research subjects in this study had microplastics in their balls.
Speaking about the issue of a widely reported drop in sperm counts, Yu noted that more work needs to be done to determine whether there's any direct connection between microplastics in testicles and reduced sperm in humans. In dogs, however, the researchers' findings showed that higher PVC levels in testicular tissue "correlated with" lower sperm counts.
"We have a lot of unknowns," Yu said in a recent news release. "We need to really look at the potential long-term effect. Are microplastics one of the factors contributing to this decline?"
Naturally, as we mere humans are known to do, we’ve collectively met this bit of balls-based news with our favorite coping mechanism and surefire remedy: gallows humor.
Tragically, this isn’t the first time I’ve had to pen a few hundred words about testicles. For example, back in 2019, I had to slap my name on a piece about a woman who allegedly chomped down on a camel's testicles at a truck stop in Louisiana. This is not even the first balls-focused news entry of the year—about a month ago, a TV station accidentally broadcast a pair of testicles during solar eclipse coverage. What's next in the exciting world of balls and microplastics? We'll have to wait and see.