Everyone Is Really Weirded Out by Mike Pence's Rules for His Marriage

Don't invite Mike Pence to your party, unless it's a party full of dudes or Karen Pence just happens to be there.

March 30, 2017

Friendly reminder: Don't ever invite Mike Pence, Trump's designated caretaker and quite possibly an off-brand G.I. Joe action figure come to life, to any event which might be construed as fun. Pence will probably have a terrible time, and there's apparently a fair chance he won't even acknowledge your existence unless you're a fellow dick-swinging male.

Ashley Parker's new Washington Post profile on the VP's wife, Karen Pence, is perhaps the most definitive take on their three-decade relationship yet. Check it:

The piece—in which Karen Pence is described by friends and aides as a "warrior" of prayer—adds context to some of the easy-to-mock shit we knew about the couple. Mike Pence told the Hill way back in 2002, for example, that he never eats alone with a woman other than Karen. Additionally, Mike Pence does not attend alcohol-assisted events without Karen.

Though the Post piece also includes gems about shellacked bread and Karen "Mother" Pence's 1991 letter in support of homophobia, most of us are hung up on the concentrated WTF-ness of dude REFUSING TO EAT ALONE WITH WOMEN WHO AREN'T HIS WIFE. If this dude doesn't respect women enough to not require marriage as a prerequisite for taking them seriously, then how can he be trusted to give a fuck about women at the legislative level? Spoiler alert: He can't. "Aggressively following this rule, one can imagine, would seriously compromise one's ability to work with or gain insight from women who aren't Karen Pence," Slate's Heather Schwedel noted in her response to the Post piece.