Image via Complex Original
Everyone's got that one ex who stars in their elaborate revenge fantasies. How nice would it be to key a dude's car Carrie Underwood-style?
One Redditor asked users to share the "cruelest thing" they ever did to an ex, and while going full Kill Bill isn't advised, there are still plenty of other options to satisfy your lust for revenge:
1. Confronting him with this fiancée
Dating your co-worker isn't a great idea, but dating your engaged co-worker is even worse.
One Redditor was dating a co-worker they thought was single, until someone left a game-changing hint: a wedding invitation. Instead of crying about it, they confronted the cheating jerk, "The Boy Is Mine" style:
"I dated this man that I worked with for three months and we were completely infatuated with each other. It was a whirlwind of a romance and I was so naive in the game of love that I believed everything ... Until one day at work, under the wiper on my car, I saw there was an envelope that was addressed with my first name and inside, there was a wedding invitation between him and his fiancée. I was unknowingly a mistress and I decided to take matters into my own hands. I took the name from the invitation, found her number in his phone, called her to discuss, and we ended up making dinner reservations with him as our server.
The look on his face when he walked up to the table satisfied me more than he ever did."
2. Hit 'em with a 'new phone, who dis'
After a very difficult breakup, Redditor EarthwormJane finally had enough of their emotionally manipulative ex. While it isn't exactly a revenge scenario, it did hit the jerk where it hurt:
"Probably going to be quite tame compared to others, but it was extremely effective. My ex and I were still in contact after we broke up. He was just using me as an emotional punching bag and I was stupid enough to allow it. He would go through my Facebook and send me texts like 'wow you move on quick' or 'so when are you going to get together with _____?' just to f*ck with my head.
One night I got sick of it and deleted him from Facebook. Not 10 minutes later, I received a very angry text from him asking me why I deleted him. I simply replied 'I'm sorry, who is this?'
Found out that he happened to be with our mutual friends at the time. They told me he went into a fit of rage because he is just that type of person. After months and months of emotional abuse, I'd say he definitely deserved it."
3. Glitter bombs away
After hooking up with their roommate (another no-no), one Redditor got their revenge in the flashiest way possible:
"I once made the mistake of sleeping with a roommate. It lasted for about 3 months before I decided that I wanted to take things to the next level. He treated me like a girlfriend in many ways already so I thought this would be no big deal. I was wrong.
He told me that he didn't want to date me because I wasn't "trophy wife material" and he didn't plan on being that successful (enough to score a Twife at least) until he was 30. He then proceeded to take a girls virginity, knock her up, ask her to get an abortion, and whine about it to me while asking for a booty call.
I dumped a giant vial of fine purple glitter all over his bed and laundry/washing machine.
The man hated glitter, what can I say. No Regrets."
4. Turn a bad thing good
One Redditor turned lemons into lemonade:
"So I was dating this guy and things weren't going so well by the time our vacation came up. We had split the cost of hotel, travel, event tickets and the big concert we were planning on going to at the end of the week. Since we'd paid so much money, neither of us wanted to cancel the trip and I planned on splitting up with him when we returned (he didn't know this, however).
We argued the whole way down. Basically the basis of our arguments was the fact I grew up in poverty but worked very hard to go places/do things and he came from a wealthy family. He says there was 'no way a poor person has had the experiences you've had when I am rich and not been able to do any of that.'
A tense 20 hour car ride later we're in Miami. One day later, we had such a big fight I need to leave and cool down. I go to a cafe in SoBe. Long story short, I meet the stage manager for the concert we were going to. Fast forward four hours later we've hit it off and he's invited the boyfriend and me as his personal guests to the show (backstage access, all that good stuff).
I head back to the condo and tell the boyfriend what happened and he flips his shit. He screams, 'Of course YOU score the backstage passes while I stand in line for the tickets like a chump.' This starts another argument.
We go to bed. The next morning, he wakes me up and says he's going home and no, I can't go with him. He tried to cancel the condo but they wouldn't let him. Of course I freak out and panic. He leaves, and I go back to that cafe, again randomly running into that stage manager. I let him know the boyfriend won't be joining me and the gist of what happened. He immediately calls up everyone he knows in Miami, gets me GL for the events I had tickets for, invites me to lots of really awesome parties, and I met tons of cool people at the concert backstage.
Needless to say, the vacation turned 1000% better once the ex left, I sold all of my tickets (his and mine) making back more than I paid for, and six years later, am still very good friends with that stage manager and many people in that band.
TL;DR: super insecure ex ditched me literally 1000 miles from home with no way back as punishment, accidentally gives me the best vacation ever."
Sometimes living well really is the best revenge.